It's time to joke

The idea that every citizen concerned: To steal is to earn?.

In a crowded bus is a very fat man in a thick sheepskin coat. It refers to young people:.
- Listen, Uncle, you have removed the sheepskin coat - will be the place where the standing.
- Shall I take off my pants and, for that you will stay....

A young couple came to the South on their honeymoon. They took off from Old ladies room in a private home. The first day did not go, the second, too, a week does not go out and do not eat. Grandma worried, knocking in the room:.
- You live there?.
- Yes!.
- And there do not want?.
- Thank you Grandma, we fed the fruits of love!.
- Well, only the skins of their fruit in the window Do not throw away, and then the goose choke!.

One woman's leg tells the other:.
- Are you not afraid to openly tell me - what do you think about our hostess?.
- Why should I be afraid? .

Man screwed right to the woman and hugged her breasts. She rises and sculpts his ryahu. Guy: - I- I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. Just one person. - Drunk fucking, asshole, smelly goat. - ... ...

There is a lesson in the school. Sit small children, the teacher asks:.
- Guys! .
Little Johnny raises his hand immediately, the teacher:.
- Anyone else?.
Tanya stands up and says:.
- I would have picked up a watermelon in one hand and the other to the other!.
- Umnichka, Tanya! . - And who knows how to move.
3 watermelon?.
Little Johnny pulls back his hand, but the teacher ignores it.
Bob gets up:.
- I 'd take a watermelon in one hand and the other in another, and the third would be planted.
to manhood!.
- Ugh, how horrible, Bob! .
Little Johnny said,.
Then Little Johnny can not stand, and says:.
- Maria Ivanovna, I know how to transfer 5 (!) Of watermelons!.
- Yes? .
- I 'd take a watermelon in one hand and the other in another, and the male.
advantage would be planted Vasya!.


I - Bond. James Bond. I - Damm. Van Damme. Claude Van Damme. Jean- Claude Van Damme.

The boss tells the employee:.
- I noticed that every time you play ...
- Hmm -m. You know, you're right! . Do you think she pretends?.

Comes as a lord drunk man home. His wife meets him with a rolling pin in hand and with the words:.
- Where roamed, a beast? .
- Lucy. the cemetery was.
- Well, someone has died?.
- Do not believe it. they all died!.

Yesterday, in the second hour of the night I got an SMS -ka with the unexpected in my life the question: ' Punch is? .

- Hello, who is this?.
- Natasha.
- What is Natasha? .
- What is what? .
- You know you're here now nichrome did not specify.

It brought the boy had fallen down the drain, shut the door.

- God, why are you so unfair to your servant? . Why, Lord?.
A voice from heaven:.
- Because they do not reach me.

' ABVGDeyka ' - so decided to call their joint mega -holding Russian oligarchs Abramovich Berezovsky, Vekselberg, Deripaska and Gusinsky.

Member, breaking away from the Internet:.
- My son, like exams?.
- Yes, well, - he entered the university is your grandson!....

There is an operation. Assistant surgeon in command:.
- scalpel. - swab. - a clip. - swab. - alcohol.
- a clip. - swab. - alcohol. - All alcohol. Remember.

English lesson. Settled in the back row man - checks.
of RONO. Young teacher wrote on the blackboard and the English phrase.
asks students to translate. The class is silent, and suddenly, with the penultimate.
Little Johnny 's hand draws desk. The teacher hesitated, but do.
nothing - has caused.
Little Johnny:.
- That Butt. Now would be planted!.
The teacher, blushing with shame:.
- Little Johnny, how could you!.
Little Johnny, turned to the man:.
- You do not know English - there is nothing to suggest!.

Depending on the tone of a single obscene word mechanic Tarasova can mean up to 50 different parts and accessories.

- Well, the normal pulse.
- Doctor, take my left hand! .

President Medvedev announced that he would personally check the apartment and suddenly.
porches of houses. Comes with its environment in the next. There is no elevator.
working circle lying empty bottles, scraps, scraps of cellophane in.
one corner of a lot of shit in the other - a drunken bum.
- What is it? . - What is this mess, I.
you ask? .

- The fifth the size of the breast - this is about someone?.
- In S..
- And the sixth?.
- A sixth - is Ass.

- What is Skype? .

We sat in the kitchen, drinking tea, I wanted to ask her to pour me another, but misspoke and accidentally said, ' Bitch! You ruined my life! '.
- Doctor, obsession - is grounds for divorce?.
- No, on the contrary, the basis for marriage.

- Debunking worth fifty euros -.
Pop says to her husband. husband:.
- So Expensive?.
- What do you mean expensive? .

Petechka - Vovochke:.
- What do you think the teacher a new French?.
- In general, it is as a protective film on the screen of the new phone.
- So?.
- I want to take and pull!.

A man - a psychologist:.
- I want a divorce.
- Reasons?.
- There are many reasons. But most importantly: I'm married!.

My husband bought furniture assembled wall. wife:.
- Do not finish it. If you open the door of the lower, middle door opens and hits on the head.
- I completed the. The lower section for things Tiffany.

Before his execution on death row comes to pop:.
- I'm here to help you communicate with God.
- Why do I need for this you? After an hour I'll talk to your boss in person.

A friend - a friend:.
- Are you cheating on her husband?.
- Do you?.
- Answer me, I first asked.
- No, let's you're first.
- You do not have to answer all clear.

Ivanov says the ass:.
- Father, I want to divorce his wife. It is cold and the woman does not love me.
Pop sends his wife and Ivanova tells her in his presence, to kiss her husband. Kiss released a long and hot. Pop - Ivanov:.
- See, this woman is passionate and thirsty!.
- Do not argue, just that the wife of Peter Ivanov, and I am Sidor.

- It seems that Madame Ivanova yet learned how to cook.
- Why do you think that?.
- Her third husband is alive!.

Rabinowitz comes to grocery shop, and asks:.
- How much does a ham?.
As soon as he comes out into the street, a storm begins. Powerful thunder shakes the neighborhood. Rabinowitz looks up to heaven and said in a conciliatory tone:.
- What is it, we can not even ask?.

What a sad woman does not dream to become a gay widow.

A friend - a friend:.
- You are my husband and I over the hill are not going to blame?.
- No, he's in my travel abroad.
- Nuclear physicist?.
- Fool!.

When buhoy and aggressive controller train back home, his family rush from room to room.

- I raised a son, built a house and planted a tree. Mom, can I at least now I'll go for a walk?.

Two blondes meet one another:.
- Yesterday I almost saw your husband!.
- What is it?.
- Do you ' Opel ' with the number 354?.
- Yes.
- So I saw the same ' Opel ' with the number 353!.

- What is it about more than an hour in the shop told our boss?.
- On the economy of labor time.

Comes the morning my wife home from work and sees that her husband bags under the eyes.
- Again, all night drinking?.
- Well, where does the drinking? .
- And where are they?.
- The glasses fell asleep!.

He gathered his three sons, father and asks:.
- My sons tell me, honestly, who among you this morning, we pushed a wooden toilet in the river and swam away.
In response to the silence.
- Do not be afraid, the children, so remember Grandpa Lenin. When he was little, he cut down a cherry in the garden, and when his father asked him and his brother, who did it, he frankly admitted, and for this he had nothing.
It turns out the middle brother, and says:.
- It's me Dad.
His father grabs his belt and let it soak.
The son yells:.
- Dad, how did Lenin, cherry?.
Father:.
- When Lenin sawed cherry, her father did not sit.

Respectable English lady explains the cause of a new family doctor services out of the previous family doctor:.
Lady:.
- You know, our former doctor was treating my husband from pneumonia, and husband died of tuberculosis.
Doctor:.
- Do not worry, ma'am, if I do you 'll be treated for pneumonia, you will die from it and the same.

- Do not make me an idiot!.
- I am not to blame, blame nature!.

In the tutorial:.
- Little Johnny, who said: ' Learn, learn and study again! '.
- Well, it certainly was not me!.

- Is it true that you have to Armenia with meat is bad?.
- No, no, the meat is well! .

Rzhevskij at the banquet:.
- I'll go take a leak!.
- Lieutenant, well, who says so? .
Rzhevskij out, comes back and reaches for a glass of.
- Lieutenant, would you even rinsed his hands.
- Oh, do not worry, madam! .

- You know, I'm always looking for the meaning of life painfully, and I can not find it.
- And in the fridge is not? .

My wife decided to file for divorce. Her lawyer asked:.
- And what do you want to present as a reason?.
- My husband of 5 years that we have been married only three times performed his marital duties!.
- Excellent. With such accusations at the hands can be assumed that the victory in our pocket. And you have kids?.
- Of course, five of them!.

In the hospital room comes a man in a white robe and asks:.
- Who yesterday was taking tests?.
- Well, I do, but what?.
- What is your height?.
- And what does this growth, the doctor?.
- I am not a doctor, I am a carpenter.

Mom, how many times you say I do not ' fuck ', I - hacker.

- In stock spoiled 2 tons of printed products.
- Yes there could deteriorate, it is not a grub!?.
- Calendars.

- Waiter, why do I have a hearing aid in the soup?.
- Excuse me, what did you say?.

It is bad when the wife is young and constantly sick. Even worse, when my wife.
old, and, moreover, strong as a rock.

- Mr President, you have long wanted to ask you on what basis.
dismiss the generals?.
- To me, Mr Prime Minister, the programmers of the new Administration.
computer ... in the evening.
- Play, and in the morning sign Ordinance.

- And here is the site of President Medvedev nobody ever crack.
- Because he is so well protected?.
- Because it is all a shit.

Deciding to look for the facades of Potemkin villages, the president was nicknamed scared governors ' bear - rod '.

Rulers come and go, but the people remain. On the nose!.

If you do not know what you want, get what was left.

4 years ago began to appear on the streets of speed bumps, but the.
look, - rose, recovered.

Educated people sitting at the banquet table will never be.
blowing in the tablecloth, if he is behind the window.
curtain.

- Why did the ambulance driver can safely have a Shawarma and other street.
fast food?.
- Because he wait for an ambulance is not needed.

In Russia, released a triple cologne in a new package with a big sign.
(20 %) - ... Dealers said that its sales dramatically.
increased and there is a shortage of.

- And here I am, if peresplyu with someone, then that person lives in a coffin.
- Tell me!.
- Yes, ask who you want!.

' What do you tell? '

' The fact that I am a poet, I generally tell people. Come publishers: ... Let us 'll call you there and there ... Faith Polozkov. To a large extent it is - a child of the Internet. It is not just a poet, a poet and blogger. At the time,. vero4ka. became one of the youngest ... com. Even the first serious book of her poems - ...

Today, Vera Polozkov - Moscow poet, who had published two books, play in the theater, go to the journalism of Moscow State University for three months prior to travel around half the world, and a diploma. Born in Moscow on March 5, 1986. The first book published at age 15. Award Winner ... She wrote for magazines «Cosmopolitan» and ... Until December 2007 she worked at the Moscow Museum of Contemporary Art ART4. RU. In 2008,. played a role in the play by Georg Woman ... Joseph Beuys in conjunction with the theater. doc).

It is interesting to not only read but also listen as she reads. After all, Faith is literally playing for his roles each text, the good they have it almost all of the unrequited love of women to men of God to man - in general, have someone to play. Her poems are going along with her energy, charisma, laughter and sorrow. See for yourself in the book. ' Photosynthesis '.

And some poems to explore:.

more ».

Microsoft and Google are fighting for control of Yahoo!

Despite some good news on the results of financial activity in the third quarter, Yahoo! has recently located in a difficult position, its activity is characterized by a low stock price, high efficiency reducing the number of employees, unsuccessful attempts to develop products. September 6 board of directors fired in the format of a call, Carol Bartz CEO (Carol Bartz) after a sharp fall in shares, which reached 8 August level of $ 11.09, and now Yahoo!, reportedly on the lookout for potential buyers of your business. The Wall Street Journal, citing people familiar with the case closely, said that Microsoft is in talks about a possible deal to acquire a total of Yahoo! institutional investors Silver Lake Partners and Canada Pension Plan Investment Board. At the same time Microsoft did not seek to Yahoo! in full possession, and wants through partial financial assistance to maintain some influence on the future of the company.

Yahoo! and Microsoft are strategic partners in the field of Internet search in 2008, after the offer was rejected Redmond giant to acquire Yahoo! for $ 47.5 billion, today the company's market capitalization is estimated to have $ 20.35 billion in the value of the shares at $ 16, . At the same time after the start of the backstage preparations for the trading value of shares of the company for 3 weeks increased by more than 20%. Potential participants in the transaction assume that the actual value below the current capitalization of Yahoo, which includes a premium, reflecting investors' expectations.
Now the total bid in the auction could bring Microsoft a share in the capital and management. Its contribution is likely to be several billion dollars, although the exact amount is not yet determined and will depend on the final price that the investment group will be able to offer Yahoo!. The latter, according to a source, has not yet received formal proposals, and its government is ready to consider all options, including a complete sale of the company, the investment in exchange for the additional issue of shares or not to take any action.
The fact that Microsoft is seeking the support of Silver Lake, itself possessing the necessary financial resources, indicates that the corporation seeks to minimize the risk of failure of the transaction. Having part of the preferred shares, Microsoft will soon return investments than owners of ordinary shares and other investors.
Simultaneously, there were anecdotal evidence that the search company. Google. is in talks with at least two private investors, offering them financial assistance to acquire the core business of Yahoo!. According to sources, Google aims to advertise on websites Yahoo!, monthly audience estimated at 700 million people.

The Wall Street Journal notes that negotiations are at an early stage, formal proposals have not yet worked out, and Google can not make the transaction, is also not clear which companies are taking part in the discussion of the case. Nevertheless, reports of a possible acquisition of industry leader in search of his defeated opponent is quite intriguing, as a consequence of this will be the union of the two largest Internet companies, which, of course, should attract the attention of antitrust services that are likely to discourage participation in the Google auction.
As interested parties, other than Google and Microsoft, called the venture capital firm Andreessen Horowitz, the Chinese company Alibaba, employed in the field of electronic commerce, as well as AOL.

Constantine Khodakovskii.

Authorities at the microphone

Conducted an inventory of junk - 2

- All domains - 144.
- The index Yandex - 26,.
- In the Google index - 134.
- Glanders is on the 84.
- Ksapa stands at 65,.
- Setlinks stands at 118.

Before checking Adsense and Stateyny exchanges hands did not reach. Part of the domains are empty, just did not put back all the content: it's about 10 domains. In terms of TIC more than half - my best: The Last Apostle walked forged shoe on the new domains.

Here are a bunch of bringing about 1000-1200 bucks only on links.

Okay, have a plan for processing scorched domains that do not cost anything from sponsors. And I have a dozen of Chinese domain names - took the test. Ironically, it is very easy to include in the index. But in the inventory they had not participated. It should, incidentally, buy some thirty or forty domains. Have not take anything new.

F-Spot.

Picasa 3 beta released. for Linux. Developers write that made ​​this year's 850 amendments to the Code ' neemulyatora ' Wine. But the desire to use such a ' port ' does not arise. I continue to monitor the native software of this kind. not. JBrout. or. IntiPunku. have not replaced the big brothers.
Since buying a laptop relation to. F-Spot. changed. It was possible to identify a situation where execution speed is quite satisfactory. It's simple: if you have a sticker emblazoned on the body with reference to the word 'Vista', hence the computational power of the cover of the special effects cataloguer. Otherwise, the impression of the product will be overshadowed by the slowness thereof.
today. released another bugfix release. (Version 0. 5. 0. 2 ). In the repository. Michele C. Soccio. can be found. the previous version. :.

deb http://ppa. launchpad. net / michelinux / ubuntu hardy main. 
deb-src http://ppa. launchpad. net / michelinux / ubuntu hardy main. 

WARNING!.
To avoid conflict with the pullback (suddenly want to go back to the previous version ), make a preliminary copy of the database:.

cp-av ~ /. gnome2/f-spot / ~ /. gnome2/f-spot. backup /. 

The first time you got an error about the lack of / Fspot / Sidebar. After removing the directory from the old DB F-Spot has started.

Added a directory with pictures. It works, does not fall ( knock on wood). Of the nice features include: catches duplicates when you import, edit options quickly transferred into the column to the left of the image. As more and more like the brainchild of Google.

Librarian of web 2.0 - it is serious (end?)

Remained the last group learning outcomes -. personal.
In your letters, dear colleagues, not just slipped that on you in the learning process began to look for other kids, someone gave the technique, some successfully delivered at a workshop meeting. All we had some kind of personal achievement is due to learning. There they are, and I. And they appeared deystviteno by training in these courses.
Back in November, watching my enthusiastic stories about blogostroitelstve in general and educational blogs in particular, the administration of my school asked me to do. school site. Do not create no. He is, we have. Make it more attractive, to reconsider the very concept of the site, whether that. We have a large school, three teachers of computer science, one Deputy Director for Information. Maybe it's none of my business? .
After seeing my blog, the editors publishing Marina Volkova came to me with a proposal to participate in the created in the Chelyabinsk region. Programs to promote reading. For this set was Publishers' Association, Printing and Publishing. In the work involved and leading regional libraries, but librarians from school there was no. After reviewing proposals have vyzhvinutye I found that the interests of school libraries there are not reflected. So I sent a proposal to the Association, reflecting the interests of school libraries. I already wrote about this blog (...
Thanks to my blog. RSHBA. (thanks to Vladimir Zhuravlev ) drew attention to our experience with readers' diaries and family.
My blog there is less than two months, but so many people come to know and appreciate not only my job, but my school work. If this is a PR, as can tell, this is my public relations work, but I do not see anything wrong. Healthy PR does not hurt, and will help librarians gain their deserved status.
And the personal results I would have classified our wonderful chat with you. How important it is to meet at some point in the life of so many wonderful people and like-minded people!.

Humiliating bids - news from the field

The fall in August by 20%. While thematic attendance has grown, as well as costs Sapa - ksape on the rise in the tops. Occasionally, some website shoots for 40-50 rubles per click, but it already is not a system, and the random nature. Where the hell advertisers? .

In light of the revenue from the context just short of the ten day. Apparently, those who in the spring and summer, got rid of their sites in YAN, something knew or felt. Today, incidentally, one white and fluffy has lost site of the index in Yandex. And the blog just left home in the index. What's going on with Yasha no one understands, and not much want to understand - you can break your head. But in any case, in recent times the industry manimeykinge related in one way or another with by Yandex, great shakes. And the expectation is justified only a game ahead of the curve.

In Sapa income stood at around 10. 80. It should have a week. / - 20 cents a day. Approximately the same situation in the ksape. But those little sausage, and even after changing the engine. While about 20 per day, hopefully soon everything will stabilize and increase. Against this background, happy setlinks. After several months of relative bezrybe appeared advertisers and began buying. At the moment, managed to reach the mark of 2. 20 and I think that this figure will only grow. Market is characterized by its relaxed attitude to resources outside the Yandex. Buying it is not very, but it is.

In parallel, communicating with fellow - varezodelom. Continues to occupy me for 5-15 bucks, but said that a day popanderah and SMS raises 300 bucks. Little hard to believe, but a military ID for 230 thousand. Still, he bought. Now he raises a new topic - selling sick. On the day of sales 10.3. Well, we wish him every success.

In general,. last summer causing strange sensations. So many were the promises and so little of the events and results. In my eyes start his quite a lot of projects and where they are - no clear. But on the other hand, have increased input for a beginner. Web -business is becoming more technologically. More and more you need to know more and more able to. And that requires money for training and software. And every day the figure is growing.

Prices for the satellites, by the way, fell heavily. Now where have to pay 40, 20 is enough. And students are not to blame. The market has corrected. By the way, did not increase sales fall.

Preliminary results until September slabouteshitelny. The market continues to stagnate. Prices treading water or falling. Of course, no crash should not wait, but the price of links will decrease. If, however, will fall and the overall financial market, reduced advertising budgets, and therefore the budget at the context. T. e. bids will be even less competitive due to low.

What should I do?. You can ponyt, cover sheets and crawl to the cemetery. Probably, most will do so. And you can adjust the plans and do more than planned. I personally plan to bring the total number of sites already up to 500. Although previously planned 200. But the market has fallen by half, plus more prosyadet. So, we need somewhere in the 2. Five times more. Although, of course, profitability, too, will fall. But still it is high enough to maneuver.

Currently the site with tITs10 brings about 20 cents a day. It's about 70 bucks a year. The cost to build at today's prices - 15-20 bucks. Domain - four bucks. Hosted at the rate of five domains - a buck (12 year). Total - costs 36 bucks a year on the second and subsequent years - $ 5.

If we start from the calculation of the site, built by the context. That the cost of advertising in ksape - about 50 a month, another 20 bucks kontentschiku, 10 hosting, domain does not count. Total 80 month cost. Estimated revenue from this site 80-150 per month. High costs - already Venture. And not everyone is ready to go at it.

Of course, you can always bet on the traffic, but then I'm not an expert, never engaged in warez doorway and projects. There's your problem and cockroaches.

-----------------------.

Order registration in white catalogs. from the service NetDirect just 200 rubles for the shares! .

Cyril Tsarenko. undertook to write the detailed HELP. Satellite-X. Expected output - to ofsayte script in the distribution system in a week or two. And as we remember, we're not kidding -bound.

The site dealer Michael xsatellite. ru out another bonus for purchasers of the system through it:. Version 1 vote. 0.

Spomoni tried to make. generalization of the blogosphere. Read interesting, but it turns out that between the first and second wave a few years, and between the second and third, third and fourth - for six months. Nifigase, faster!.

Yellow Blog - 1 year!. Congratulations!.

The bonus for subscribers of

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Google has generously awarded ' good ' hacker from Russia

Internet giant. Google. paid about 13.6 thousands of dollars to Russian IT- specialist for discovered vulnerabilities in Google Chrome. Also Sergei Glazunov received a significant amount of a hacker under the alias miaubiz - about 10.3 thousand dollars. In total, Google paid professionals more than 26.5 thousand dollars for vulnerabilities that are fixed in new version.

As the newspaper writes Computerworld, Glazunov and miaubiz regularly find vulnerabilities in Google Chrome. They have had about 57 percent of vulnerabilities found in the current year. Google has spent in 2011 more than 170 thousand dollars to pay for the discovered vulnerabilities, notes '. business Petersburg. '.

The same practice found encouragement for ' holes ' in the system has a number of other major IT-companies. Thus, representatives of Mozilla promises to pay for the found vulnerability from 500 to three thousand dollars.

More recently, the popular social network Facebook announced a generous reward for finding the ' holes ' in the security service. Thus, the ' good ' hackers will be paid $ 500 and above, according to the portal ' Information Security '. However, the rewards will be only those who do not reveal the vulnerability of the public prior to its removal.

And on Tuesday the company ' Yandex ' suggested users to search for vulnerabilities in its services, which operate sensitive data. Company November 25 call participant, who found the most critical vulnerability. The winner will receive 5000 dollars.

Children's Book Week has begun, or whom the children choose

Children's Book Week. began in Arzamas libraries. ... Since readers are talking about Russian science, the achievements of Russia in various fields of knowledge about famous people, history and art.

The event took place in the. Central Children's Library. A. P. Gaydar. Participants had to choose as much as ' Name of Russia -2011 ... The candidates were presented narrator, Znayka, ET, Egghead, and member of the museum olimpioniki. Whom do you choose? .

(No,. attacks. and there was no black PR. All the same, children's library. ).

• 
  
  
  Artist Viktor Vasnetsov, livening up ' legends of olden '.
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  Man Mikhail Lomonosov University.
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  writer. Arkady Gaidar.
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  The first man in space, Yuri Gagarin.
  
  
  


• 
  
  
  

  
  The discoverer of the elements Dmitri Mendeleev (we even experience has shown that something was mixed, burned, Nadim ).
  

  
  


• 
  
  
  Gymnast Evgeniya Kanaeva.
  
  
  

That's who you would choose? . The kids ( here it is, the new generation!) Majority chose Eugenia Kanaeva. Probably not for nothing that we have a. healthy lifestyle. talk with readers.

And you were in the bath?

1) Go to. webmaster. yandex. ru.
2) Add your site. If you see a.

address. vashsite. ru. successfully added. As he was crawling robot will be indexed and made available for search.

the site is simply not in the index. Then doing voodoo dances with puppets to life once again came to the index. For example, can be fed through the card to the people. Or change the indexing. Or change the hosting. There are lots of reasons for dropping out of the index.

If you see a.

address. vashsite. ru. was not included in the base of Yandex as its index forbidden.

So you ban. bitter tears. Ban cured only by complete removal of reference, changes in content and time-consuming correspondence with Plato. They say that even helps, if you kill site in 3-4 months. And then resume it with other content elsewhere. Then do without the support of the correspondence with Yandex.